you long for the big smiles
but are faced with cold shoulders
you long for the butterflies to swirl your stomach
things don’t work as planned
and, you are settled with fallen leaves
and, as the sun rises
and falls
you start to forget the small things in life
from saturday family reunions
and each moment of uncontrollable laughter
to the sun tickling your cheeks
and soothing tea
while hearing the birds chirp on repeat
these are what crafts that safe feeling
but even with all the little safety pins
you ignore everything
because that one thing that is everything to you
is lost
the time starts to consume you
but you won’t let it
something is different this time
you start to bring up the jokes that are so bad that they are actually funny
you start to notice the color of fallen leaves
and the unpredictable way the sun melts into the skyline
you long for nothing more than for things to return to normal
you want it so bad
but the moments pass
and you get caught up in life’s unfair qualities that you forget to look around you—
everything you longed for was here all along